On tonight's NYCCR, Craig Loydgren and Lenny Marcus join Pat to talk about fat-asses, ninjas, a firework suicide attempt, we hear from Asian Jap Chris Laker in Time Square and Faisal Alam from court, the guys go on to talk about a Chihuahua beat down, and Kelsey Caine adds her two cents about the subway slasher. Jess Sager and Mike Hollan from the NY Post take a seat with Pat to talk about their gig at the paper, an N train perv, a nail polish thief, Mandy fills in for Pat to discuss Robin "soft drink" Hood, and Donald Trump sits in to discuss hair and to make a few announcements. Fancy pants Pat gets an on-air haircut while Mandy and Jess go on to chat with Trump about his run for office, a Hamilton ticket scam, Times Square mascots, a shooter that gives zero fucks, Pat's head manscape, and everyone tries to talk Mike into proposing to Jess. While Asian Jap Chris Laker gets a trim, Pat returns to his post to talk with the ghost of Detective Patrick Dakota and Faisal about today's news stories and the legal ramifications.